I am Grateful

You cannot believe the emotions that are fluttering wildly inside of me right now. Just trying to grab hold of one or two seems impossible at the moment. I have spent most of the morning burning incense and in a meditation of thankfulness and gratitude with my Spirit Guides. I sooooo needed to do this.

This past Sunday I got my courage up and took four of my art pieces for a “there’s no guarantee any will make it, well possibly, sweat beads drippin’, keep my fingers crossed that one piece might make it in, knee knockin’, show your art stuff” over to the Frank Bette Center For The Arts. Each month there is a Thematic Exhibit and for the month of May, the theme is “Characters”. And all the while I was thinking that my pieces didn’t fit for this theme. Art pieces are submitted each month by artist all over the area and selected by a panel of judges. There is no guarantee that your submitted artwork will be selected.

“The selection of artwork is based on how all the artwork shows together and reflects the theme to create the best exhibit possible.”

So I called (a day too early…guess the fine print didn’t stick in the ‘ol noggin) to see about a time to come in and pick up the art pieces. Still thinking that maybe one piece made it into the exhibit. I was informed that ALL OF THEM were accepted into the exhibit! Ohhhh my gawd! I was floored. Overjoyed. In tears with gratitude. In shock. At a loss for words other than THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
And as I write this, still in shock. The emotions or so raw right now.
It’s a wee bit scary going through this new door. No, scratch that, it’s very scary! But I’ve stepped through it and the floor has not dropped away from under me. My friends and loved ones have given me support, encouraged me, given me strength, even loaned me some of their courage to strengthen mine, listened, hugged and shared words of wisdom with me over the years with my art. I thank you all for being there for me. My Guides and Spirit Helpers and spiritual loved ones have carried me along my many roads and never left me not once. I thank you all too.

This may not seem like a big deal to some, but for me, it is a humbling experience. I have been given an opportunity to show a part of my world to others in a new way. The universe will put opportunities along one’s path all the time. Sometimes we see them, sometimes not. I see it and do not know what will happen now that this door has been opened to me.

But I will continue to walk on along this path gaining more experience, knowledge, courage, clarity, wisdom, and gratitude. I am full at the moment and guess I will stop trying to grab hold of any of these emotions inside. Now if I can just figure out what to wear to the Gala Opening tomorrow night.

And I believe in Angels too

I was talking with a friend last evening that I had not seen since last October catching up on our lives. Wow, so much has changed for the both of us since then. She's moving into new realms with her music career as a healer and reaching for the world. Totally embracing it all. New doors have opened for her in many areas of her life. I am so proud of her!

Last we spoke, we were both on the verge of "something" and all was not clear then. But from our conversation yesterday, we saw that there have been positive and major movements in both our lives. Yeah! Without getting into the details ('cuz it would be pages long) the assurance of our Spirit Guides were in full swing all along. And some of them are Angels.


You may or may not know but in 2008, every month came with major changes for me. And I did not like it or know how to handle it all. A year of grieving and loss. I kid you not, from January through December. It was one of the most difficult years in my life. It's been about 19 years since something like this has happened. So I guess it was time for another one? Didn't see that one comin'.

I can now look back on it, thank the gods and goddesses. I now see how my Guardians, Angels, Protectors, Ancestors, Sisters, and Mother helped me through those 365 days. And still they help me. It is a year that will never be forgotten. I am humbled, grateful, blessed, and much more aware of my Spirit Guides now. In full force they come to help me. So friggin' caught up in the circumstances that they went unnoticed for a time, and they were knockin' hard too. But when I sat to quiet myself in my art, that's when I realized with clarity what was happening. Healing was taking place all over me, inside and out. The flow changed and I was on another path. With this shift, or transition as I call it, my Guides would visit often and comfort me. They are helping me with my grief, acceptance, letting go of things that I had no control over and taking leaps of faith.

It is best that I stop here and show you one of the pieces born out of that tragic year for me. She is called The Fiery Angel. Born out of the ashes you might say. Her creation started in April and completed in May of 2008. She sits in a shadow box that is 9x15". Found objects, vintage jewelry pieces, Coral, Lapis Lazuli, Mother of Pearl, handmade papers. Because she sits under glass, it is a bit hard to see her. So here are some pics before she was set inside.

A Life Force bearing gifts

This is a powerful piece that hits the soul and spirit. Whenever I look at it, I am thrown back to a time that I somehow used to know. Many, many lives ago. A reminder of who I was, who I Am? And yet still in this life. Gawd, I wish that I could express this in words. I even had a name for it while it was being created, but by the time it was finished, the name just didn't fit it anymore. Maybe it doesn't need one? It seems that “words” would only bind it and it does not want to be bound. When the art piece is complete, it’s complete. Collage/mixed media. This piece is 13”x8”. The two vial's contain herbs (Angelica root, White Sage, Bearberry leaves) and resins (Frankincense, Myrrh, Copal) as fragrance offerings and invocation.

So once again, it shows up to bring a creative gift. This other Life Force if you will. I do not know where it comes from, or where it goes when it leaves me. But it’s here again. This is the second time for the visitation. I don’t even know what to call it other than a Life Force, a friend. “Do you have a name” I ask, and wait for the revelation of its name. Does it have a name? Does it even matter? What I do know for sure is that it is as old as antiquity. There is a strong sense of this. There is no beginning or end in it. It’s powerful to say the least. How does one explain the movements and the flow of the whole dance? It can only be seen in the finished pieces. The art pieces are unlike anything that I’ve ever done.

The first visit came last Spring around this time. The “Fiery Angel” was created. Talk about “floored” and in awe. This in no way came from me. I was aware of this early on as the pieces were coming together. My vision was totally different from the final piece. You’ve heard me say this before. But I was very much aware that the presence of another Life Force was with me. I knew that my creativity would change from that moment on. A new door opened up that day. The feeling of an old friend that I had not seen in a long, long time came to visit again. It felt good. I felt alive with an energy that was somehow forgotten.

It always has something to say when it comes to visit me. It speaks through my hands because it knows my form of communication. When I am in tune with the gift that is given me from the visit, I have no choice but to let it flow through me. The creations comes from a given feeling, visions, colors, sensations. They feel as old as time itself. It’s hard to explain it. I am humbled, deeply humbled.

This friend is so different from my Muse who likes to play and make tutorials ‘n stuff. There is a strong sense of “spiritual” from it. It is not threatening in any way what so ever. And I am not afraid of it. If anything, it has a story to tell. One that may have been forgotten? One that is to come? Dunno, but I am open to it. There is a sense of oneness when it is around. A sense of “I’ve known you through many lifetimes.”